Tracks
Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.
“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.
I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.
What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?
I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’
But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]
[camera zooms in on glasses]
[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”
This should win an Oscar
A pack of samoyeds
This is the opposite of a problem
i really hate str8 desis fr
me in sex ed
i-just-really-like-john-green:
I CAN’T TELL WHAT’S FUNNIER
I regret middle schoolcalm down there, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way.
WHO BROUGHT THIS BACK
WHO THE FUCK
BROUGHT BACK THE DIARY POST
you ever been so stressed that youre calm
this is my constant state
my chill is fake
“How are you so calm?!”
“I’ve passed beyond stressed, beyond hysteria, into the grey misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.”
a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same
Wtf
eleven looking at boys moodboard